HAPPINESS IS A CHOICE :)

To be able to smile is a definitely a manifestation of happiness.  Yet many happy people forget to smile. 

Performance and happiness also go hand in hand in making an organization successful. With both an appropriate performance management system and a positive approach to influencing people that increases happiness, an organization’s key results can more likely be achieved and sustained.

For many years of my early childhood, I was unhappy. Partly, I did not know happiness was important and the other was life was taken too seriously.  Also, happiness was not a practice in my family, community or culture. As I was exposed to new environments, people, culture and new philosophies, I came to realize that happiness was a CHOICE. 

With that understanding of happiness, the challenge was how you get to practice happiness daily or every moment of your life.  Over the last many years people around me noticed that I was consistently happy and asked me what made me happy. Here are some thoughts that have helped me to improve my happiness levels and enjoy the present moment.

A. The Inner Game.  My feelings are important to motivate my actions in performance in life which includes bringing success in my career, relationship etc. My feelings whether good or bad, are a direct result of the thoughts I carry. For example: If I choose to say it is going to be a wonderful day, it is going to be a wonderful day and if I say it is going to be a bad day and that’s what it is going to be. Likewise, what are the thoughts you carry when you deal with people & situations? What are things we talk about a normal basis? Does it empower us or make us feel worse? Monitor your thoughts to create the feelings you want.

A great way is to spend some time at the beginning of the day or the end of the day and reflect on what you normally think, feel and the actions you take. If you do feel good it is important to reframe your thoughts, let go off the situation or find solutions for your current issues. I have been practising it for the last 6 years and it feels good.

Happiness is our birth right and we need to make the choice to feel good.

B. The Right People. Choose the people that make you happy whether it is a family member, romantic partner, people at work, friends etc.  Of the things that played an important part in my happiness was my mastermind alliance, a group that came to together to support each other and learn together. We have been meeting twice a month for the last 5 years. It has helped me reframe my thoughts and keeps me aligned to my direction in life.

People influence your life and so choose the people that you feel happy.

C. The Social Connection.  Our happiest memories, comes from our connection with people and how we have served them.  I have been an active Jaycee member for many years and have been involved in more than 100 community projects.  I enjoy connecting with new people in Facebook and Linkedin and it motivates me for new possibilities and opportunities. I also have set aside 10 percent of my business time to serve the needy and underprivileged. 

Fulfillment and giving brings happiness

D. A Date with You:   The most important person around in your life is ‘you’. We tend to have much time for many things and many people.  How do we support ourselves mentally, emotionally & spiritually?  Some of things that I do isSpend time on my dream; where I want to be in 5 years time. Having a journal & vision board definitely helps.

1. Check Inventory: financials, areas you want to improve you, medical check-ups, etc.
2. Commit to activities like reading books, listening to music, surfing the net, going for walks
3. Planning leisure activities including planning my holidays, movies you like to watch
4. To go out and enjoy the food you like to eat
5. To find time to relax and might be do nothing

      Happiness comes from loving yourself first.

E.  Simplify

I have realized over the years that we tend to accumulate and overdo many things in our life due to peer pressure or to keep up with the Joneses. I have made a choice to have a simple living and not to accumulate or get involved in too many things in my life. Simplifying involves prioritizing and planning what one can possibly could do in a given time and find fulfillment from what you do. 

 If you feel worried about what you do then you are trying to resist. What you resist will persist. As one of my favorite teacher, Dr Wayne Dyer says “there is no way to happiness, happiness is the way. 

 I wish you happiness, every way. Keep smiling 

Coaching Journal

1.  What make you happy?
2. How do you practice happiness in your daily life?
3. What is stopping you from being happy?
4. What are the choices you can make?
5. If you cannot make the choices, what can you do to resolve the situation?

Mastering Enrollment – The Key to Client Engagement

Enrollment Conversation

People engagement continues to be highly discussed topic in the areas of recruiting & retaining employees, managing and developing staff, and also engaging clients in sales.

For today’s discussion, let us look at the world of sales; client engagement continues to be a great challenge for many sales professionals.  One key skill that has emerged from a coaching perspective is to understand and apply the art of enrollment to activate effective engagement. And so, what is it?

Enrollment is the art and skill of engaging and/or inspiring someone in a possibility for their life.  It is a genuine and sincere approach to grab people’s attention and interest towards your idea or what you have offer to fulfil their goals or dreams. Through the process the sales professional is able to focus on the client’s agenda rather than their own and support and co-create solutions which bring greater value in the conversation. At the end of the conversation, the potential client’s feels supported and empowered. Your focus shifts from, what’s in it for me? (WIIFM) to, what’s in it for you? (WIIFY).

You will see tremendous results by applying the art of enrollment in whatever you do. Enrollment is a process that transforms doubt and apprehension into trust. It is a process that removes fear and the traditional need to understand things before choosing a result. To sum up, sum of the key skills required includes genuine interest in the other person which allows the other person to want to continue the conversation. Then if you can effectively link between what they want in their lives and what you have to offer and that is enrollment at its best. Coaching competencies, including establishing client’s agenda, building trust & intimacy, deep listening, presence, powerful questioning become key indicators for effective enrollment and needs be mastered.  Some powerful questions for enrollment are including in the coaching journal.

Wish you powerful enrollment conversations!

Coaching Journal

1. What is important to you right now?
2. What some action steps that you take now to achieve the results you want?
3. What do you see applicable from my recommendations/ solutions that will assist in taking those steps?
4. What value does it bring from you when you achieve those steps?

Are we Selling or Serving?

I believe all of us are sales people and every moment of our lives we are selling something to ourselves or to others which includes our clients, friends and family. Our objective is always to move towards our own goals or dreams. However, we seem to feel pressured in the selling process. How come? 

The word ‘SELL’ originates for the Scandinavian root word “selzig’ which means SERVE. What outcome do we like to see at the end of the selling process?  If we focus on our own personal agenda which includes achieving sales targets, income, we seem to feel anxious, dissatisfied, upset etc.

What about delighting, satisfying or making our clients happy? And help –them- move one step forward to –their- goals or dreams. Our actions become purposeful and we call it ‘serving’.  You will see the results are amazing and achieving your personal agenda becomes effort-less. Zig Ziglar said, “You can get everything in life you want, if you will just help enough other people get what they want.”

Coaching Journal

1. What will make you a purposeful sales person?
2. What changes will you make in your approach with your future contacts?
3. How many people do you want to –serve- on a daily basis to be purposeful?
4. What is an action you will take immediately?

Are you ‘Flowing’ or Pushing for Results ?

It is a state of mind you achieve when you’re fully immersed in a task, forgetting about the outside world. Flow is a concept developed by positive psychologist Mihály Csíkszentmihályi.  It is about being in the moment, focusing completely on a single task, and finding a sense of calm and happiness in your work.  Flow is how you get things done. In state of Flow you: are completely focused on a current task; become creative and productive, tend to lose track of time; feel happy and in control; and forget about yourself, about others, about the world around you.

The true productivity is the kind where you actually achieve your goals, where you accomplish important and long-lasting things. And by losing yourself in them, you enjoy yourself more. You reduce stress while increasing quality output. You get important stuff done instead of just getting things done.

Coaching Journal:

1. Are the tasks that you choose to do every day, include; something you love to do, important, and that will bring you long lasting fulfillment?  If no, what are you going to do to exercise your choices?
2. Do you practice quiet time to optimize your Flow state on a daily basis? (a time when you are full of energy, not when tired and you practice concentration) If no, when do you plan to start?
3. What do you do to avoid distractions when you are focused on your task? (calls, emails, IMs, coworkers, friends etc)
4. In what ways do you express your appreciation for the tasks you accomplish on a regular basis?

The Greatest Gift – YOU

Each of us has very special gifts, and we are here for very specific reasons. We each have a life purpose to fulfil and with this come the lessons that we must learn and the circumstances that we must go through in order to evolve as spiritual beings. To compare our lives to other people’s lives when we have no idea of what they are here to learn or fulfil doesn’t benefit anyone – especially you.

Instead, if we can accept ourselves, appreciate the special talents and qualities that we alone possess, and realize that each of us is going through certain kinds of experiences for a reason, we are less likely focus so much on what other people have or are doing. Try to not compare yourself to others, and you will see how much you have and how special you are.

 

Coaching Journal

1. What makes you unique?
2. What do others like about you?
3. What are your past achievements or creations?
4. Based on the above, what are the areas you like to expand about yourself?
5. What is one step you will take today to unleash the gifting in you?

Are you listening?

Active Listening is an important competency in communication especially in the coaching process.  A great coach is an active listener moving towards becoming a deep listener. Active Listening is “I’m very focused on what you‘re saying, recording, facts, paying attention and deep listening is “I’m more focused on you ‘than me, I am getting a sense of who you are now” The goal of deep listening is to hear beyond the words of the other person and yourself, to the essence of what the words and feelings are pointing to. Your mind and heart are joined in union, you are listening wholeheartedly.

Deep listening is effortless; it is more like listening lightly to your favourite music, the sound of a stream rushing by, or a bird singing. When we listen to these delightful sounds we are under no pressure, we aren’t analyzing or figuring out — we are simply letting the feelings and sounds affect us. Deep listening is not defensive, argumentative, or intrusive. It is not about struggling to analyze or interpret. When we listen deeply, we let go of any beliefs we have about the other person. We let go of our prejudices and past memories. Deep listening is based on a feeling of unconditional love and respect.

 

Coaching Journal

1. What are your greatest challenges in listening?
2. What are the areas you need to make changes for improvement?
3. What will you do to make the listening process effortless?
4. What is an action step you will take starting today?

The Power Pause: A Tool for Effective Conversation

A “Power Pause” comes after a question not a statement. If you attempt a power pause after a statement, quickly recover with a question and then go back to the “Power Pause.”  By simply using this technique over and over, you will gain confidence in your pitch and increase your close ratio. The same applies in coaching a client, managing a staff or having a great conversation with your friend or companion.

Here are the benefits of pausing. The first is that you avoid the risk of interrupting the prospect or coachee if he or she has just stopped to gather his or her thoughts. Remember, your primary job in the conversation is to build and maintain a high level of trust, and listening builds trust. When you pause for a few seconds, you often find the prospect or coachee will continue to speak. He or she will give you more information and further opportunity to listen, enabling you to gather more of the information you need to make the sale or to get the coachee moving.

Coaching Journal

1. What outcomes do you want to see at the end of your conversation?
2. What changes do you need to be more effective in you conversation?
3. What steps will you take to bring the changes and how do you ensure you did it?
4. What is the key to powerful questioning? How will use the Power Pause to bring results?

Taking Action to Improve Concentration

I came across this inspiring story from a great teacher, Paramhansa Yogananda, which I believe can help us our overcome our difficulties in concentration.

 ”Master,” lamented a disciple, “I have such difficulty in concentrating! I am faithful to my practice of yoga techniques, but I never seem to get anywhere with them.”

“Mechanical practice is not enough,” Master replied. “There must also be sincere interest in what you are doing. You must deepen your devotion.

“Just observe people at the movies. Don’t they become yogis? See how still they sit during the suspenseful parts; how engrossed they are in the plot as it unfolds. All that absorption, simply because their interest has been aroused!

“Meditate in that way.

“Once you’ve convinced your mind that you really want to meet God in the inner silence, it will be easy for you to sit still and meditate deeply.”

 

Coaching Journal

1.  What do you like to set your focus on? What if, it is like a ‘movie’ you like to watch ?

2. Why is this important you?  Is there a sincere interest?

3.  What outcome do you like to achieve for this ‘movie’?

4.  What type of actions will apply when you are engaged with this ‘movie’?

Expectations Vs. Possibilities

I continue to observe and learn from my sales coaching workshops that sales managers sets high ‘expectations’ on their sales team members on the bottom line results. This is also what their bosses want them to achieve. My experiences in coaching say otherwise; I continue see breakthroughs and transformations in the ‘possibilities’ when one can focus on the steps of the sales process. Ultimately the process and its possibilities become the results. I am sure this also applicable in our own lives where we need to focus and enjoy our journey and it possibilities instead of setting too many expectations of the final destination.

Coaching Journal

1. Which one, expectations or possibilities, creates more joy and satisfaction and why?

2. What creates more fear and control and what are the consequences?

3. What are the outcomes when you focus on the ‘possibilities’ of the process?

4. What barriers are created in communication as you set expectations and how does it affect the results?

5. What steps will you take to focus on possibilities?

I am ‘Trying’ is Resistance

Abraham-Hicks in their teachings share when you are trying too hard, what is happening is there is a part of you that believes that it cannot be. 

On the contrary, imagine when you decide to visit the grocery store to buy a loaf of bread. You KNOW. You know you have the absolute knowledge and ability if you go to the store, and you know if you have money in your wallet, you know when you get there, you know the loaf of bread will be there. In other words there is no trying and no doubt.

What do you absolutely KNOW about attracting what you want as you build for your business, health and relationships?    “What you resist, you cannot attract ”

 Coaching Journal:

1. What do you do next time when you say the words “I am trying or trying too hard” ?
2. What are you resisting and why?
3. What are your current self-limiting beliefs about building your business, health or relationships?
4. What empowering beliefs do you establish to say “I KNOW’ and overcome resistance?